One of my closest friends of many years disclosed that he's had romantic feelings for me. It seemed important to him in the moment, but when we talked about it in person, he said he'd prefer to remain friends. I was confused but I let it go, and we continued our friendship. This was about six months ago. Recently though, he said he wanted to kiss me – to see if there were sparks. I was fine with that, but after it happened I thought: If he were really interested in me after this much time, he'd know it, right? He said he the sparks were there ... but then we had plans and he cancelled. I told him he just didn't seem interested. He said he was. We had another argument about it today, after we spent last night arguing by text. I demanded to know whether he was really into this, and he finally said he wasn't. Now I'm hurt. I feel like he messed with my head. He told me I would get over it, but I made it clear that I want to cut all ties with him. Yes, we are young (19). But I want … [Read more...] about Is it wrong to cut ties?
This event will have cotton candy. I'm bringing the machine. Dear Meredith, This is a breakup letter. When J and I first met, it was love – or at least some sort of connection – at first sight. At the time, I had finally ended a serious relationship that had been on-and-off for a long time, and I was setting up a life after college. J was finishing his undergraduate career. We started dating, and I've never felt so at ease with a partner. He truly brought out all the best parts of me. He told me he loved me first, and was eager to introduce me to his family as his girlfriend. Our sexual chemistry was beautiful. Eventually, he was offered a job that took him about 90 miles away. We made it work pretty well for about one year. We both felt that the inconvenience of a 1.5-hour drive to spend weekends together was worth it because of our connection. Yes, it was difficult, but everything worthwhile takes some sacrifice, right? He began telling me he might be interested in … [Read more...] about ‘I believe in my heart that this is not the end of our journey’
I've been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years and we both just graduated from college. Our post-graduation plans are taking us to separate East Coast cities, and I'm trying to decide if I should end it now or attempt to make a long-distance relationship work. We've had a lot of fun together, and the relationship has been a positive thing in my life, but at times it has also felt like more work than it should be. We are not well suited for each other in the long term. How do you know if you are happy enough with someone to commit to the relationship for long-distance? How much effort should anyone have to put into reconciling different personalities and communication styles? When does this reconciliation amount to forcing two puzzle pieces that just don't fit? And how do you know when to fight for a relationship or when to let go? – Making an Effort Long-distance seems worth it when you're so into someone that you want to be near them – and make plans around them … [Read more...] about When is it worth it to try long-distance?
I was in a six-year relationship with a guy that started in high school and ended about a year after we graduated college. It ended because I felt like we had been going through the same issues, talking about the same things, only for nothing to change. I had moved from our hometown to Boston to be closer to my new job. He was finishing up a few classes and living with his parents. I felt like our paths were starting to diverge. In hindsight, I really didn't know who I was, and I had to figure that out on my own. Even though I left, I still wanted him in my life because he meant so much to me. He was my first love, my best friend for almost a decade. We hung out a few times after the breakup, but it got too hard for him, so we stopped. I dated a bit, ended up in an almost year-long relationship with a great guy. But ultimately, it didn't feel right. So I left him, too. Something came up in January of this year and the only person I thought to reach out to was my former best friend. We … [Read more...] about How long do I wait to reach out?
source Shutterstock/kittirat roekbur Heartbreak is tough. After a raw breakup it can feel like nothing will ever be the same again. But new research suggests that the use of certain cognitive strategies could help those suffering from heartbreak to recover. In a small study, some strategies made participants feel less love towards their exes, or feel happier. Methods tested included thinking negatively about your ex, accepting your feelings of love towards an ex-partner, and distraction. While it ‘doesn’t work like an on/off switch,’ the authors told TIME, they say that ‘love regulation’ is a promising phenomenon with important everyday life implications. Breakups are tough. Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel, making heartbreak one of the most traumatic. After a particularly raw … [Read more...] about These are the best ways to get over heartbreak, according to new scientific research