Almost daily, we see photos of our man in the White House holding up documents he’s signed, his facial expression mimicking the proud glee of a toddler holding up the handprint he made for Mother’s Day. Reader James Brzezinski, whose challenging name may have led to a lifelong interest in names and signatures, has studied the presidential signature on the letter in which FBI Director James Comey was fired, for example, and is thinking that the president signs with the ancient family name that preceded Trump: Drumpf. “There’s no horizontal crossing on top of the T,” writes Brzezinski. Furthermore, the last letter of the signature seems to have Drumpf’s ascending “f” rather than Trump’s descending “p.”
Personally, I’m more fascinated by the writing tool, which, judging by the boldness of the signature, is an instrument as delicate and dignified as a Sharpie. It’s bold, but it’s not enough to express the force and commanding presence of the commander in chief. Might he forsake the pen in favor of the wide-edge paintbrush; perhaps Kelly-Moore could come up with a custom presidential blue for the job? Even better, the graffiti artist’s spray can could bring new oomph to a signature meant to be imposing. Who wouldn’t love a shpritzing president?
•Is the pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game over? Bob Wieder’s suggested picks for Comey’s replacement include: the president’s daughter Tiffany Trump (“just accepted to Georgetown law school”); Mike Flynn (“has ‘lock her up’ tattoo”); actor Mark Harmon ( “‘NCIS’ consistently No. 1 in the ratings”); Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner ( “still has Tuesdays open”); Joe Arpaio (“‘se habla’ this”); and Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte (“makes Arpaio look like Pope Francis”).
•While he was inside soaking up “Against Trumpism: The Art and Poetry of Resistance” at the Museum of International Propaganda in San Rafael, Patrick Gannon noticed a meter minder about to ticket his car. “Wait!” he shouted as he ran outside. The parking enforcer asked if the car with a “Facts Matter” bumper sticker was his and then added, “I bet in this case you’ll hope that the facts don’t matter, eh?” She didn’t ticket the car.
•At Mollie Stone’s on California Street, Alexandra Morgan overheard a mother threatening her teenage daughter. “If you don’t stop whining,” she said, “I’m going to make you sit in your bedroom and watch Kellyanne Conway all night.”
•Meanwhile, Kevon Cottrell, who just watched the 2000 movie “American Psycho,” reports that 16 minutes into it, the lead character, who seems to be a wealthy up-and-comer, asks, “Isn’t that Trump’s car?” Later, he spots Ivana Trump. The movie, based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel, was known for its gruesome depiction of a serial killer. But according to an appraisal in Rolling Stone magazine, “At its heart, ‘American Psycho’ is a caustic satire about materialism and the empty feeling that comes with chasing it.”
•When Bernadette Peters sang “Am I Losing My Mind?,” “Send in the Clowns” and “Children Will Listen” at the Palace of Fine Arts on Saturday, May 13, Billy Cook and Julian Grant wondered if “she was offering subliminal commentary about current events in Washington.”
•In keeping with that, Will Durst, whose new show, “Durst Case Scenario,” opens in July at the Marsh, is wondering whether “this whole thing might be a plot by the pharmaceutical industry to sell more Xanax.”
•There was no guilt on Mother’s Day in Glen Park. Mark Davis sent photos of an installation in which a neighbor had used a front fence to create a Mother Guilt Depository. One sign noted, “Mother’s Day can spark complicated feelings. … We regret, fret, wish, wonder. … My Mother’s Day gift to you: A place to put all that guilt. Write it down. Put it in the mailbox. Release it. … Once you put it in the mailbox, I’m going to hold all that guilt for you.” The mailbox is labeled Mother Guilt Deposits, and a separate box provided notes and pads for writing. Davis described the anonymous gesture as “very thoughtful.”
•At the entrance to the San Francisco Botanical Garden on Sunday, May 14, Phil Semler was watching when the woman in front of him in line — with her husband and three kids — was given a succulent for Mother’s Day. “The mother seemed taken aback by the word ‘succulent,’” he writes, “but after I explained it was a kind of plant, she took it.”
“We’re supposed to discuss the music with the deacon, but I say f— the hymns.”
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